Approximately 2 weeks ago I was admitted to the hospital for abdominal pain. it was soon determined that I had an inflamed gall bladder. I'm weakened by the whole experience physically, financially, mentally, emotionally. I don't know what to do next.
I haven't written anything in my journal in ages. I received a few calls from a drunk friend in the past 2 days. I love him but... I don't trust he ready for what's to come next. In and communications he suggested that I write something down, suggesting that The Northwest is supposed to be The place for people who write or commit suicide. I have. to be honest, here I think about it daily and pray for release on the daily if not hourly basis. It's not like I haven't asked for help but the cost is out of reach and I'd sooner choose to die and be financially crippled which in my head would be the exact same. As of current, I'm sitting in a Starbuck before my shift starts at a survival job trying to plan my next move. I'm a shift supervisor and make just enough to not easily leave, I'm currently staying on the floor of a friends basement on a mattress which should be trashed years ago, I have a car on its' last leg, a laptop which also will soon follow, and my remaining possession which could be tossed with little to no care on my part.... So. What's next? I don't know. As much as I want to stay here in the Northwest is the same as I wanna go. I thought I tackled my wanderlust but it's been 2 years and I still want to see what' over the horizon. A home base would be nice, however, I don't make enough to ever consider that an option. So. There it is. I wish you well in the new year.
Finding a job in the city has been a joke at best looking for an job worth having is a total pain in the ass. Some want a credit check, other want a fucking novel about you exploits. still other still will only hire the pure and chasted. If I had advice for any one looking for a job during this time period it would be lie your ass off and get your friends to cover your ass and if you don't have any friends. your Fuxored!
This is an all call to any and all parties who have or know of people in the San Francisco Area who are looking for and needing a slightly used Keesor. will send resume on requested will even give a "massage" if it can garantee a position of the whole paycheck with a living wage now thingy. I'm just saying :P
I offically hate you.
I offically hate you.
I have a temp gig sweeping the nastiest part of SF. it pays so it's a job. They're suppose to help find me permanent employment so far so good but I wonder if I could have done this myself if I had some gumtion?
Plan D or S I lost count some where. Somebody pull out plan "Fuck it" again. Okay we'll do this one until I remember which plan I was on.
I finally hit the wall of no. it comes in the form of my high bp has prevented me from get permission to sweep the street for 3 hours at a time. appearantly this previleged is only given to those whom don't need to get out of public assistance. like this guys. FUCK you beauracy fuck you very much
One step closer to out of the shelter. have arranged for a temperary employment job that finds you premanent employment elsewhere in the city. So bloody tired of all these hoops to jump through yet I jump anyway. merciful death embrace me.
Since I've arrived in CA and been homeless I've had to endure the gaunlet of bureacy in the Nth degree. I understands it's designed to weed out those to would abuse and or take more than their fair share. but it also has kept me from expediting the process to get on with it. So If I'm willing to go through this god awful process of homelessness to citizen of these US again I promise never to bitch moan or complain about due process ever again. Unless it requires another triplitcate hand written form, which must be noterized at 717am on the 4 tues of the month but no later than 718am at which time I'm require to fill a document addendum sub again in triplicate with a sign affidavid from my assigns caseworker ONLY and not (his/her)assistant for she is disqualified because (his/her)clearance prohibits the inclusion but not exclusion of said benefit for mention in previous document referred to in sub section J paragraph 2.3 section c.